The Stressed Years of Their Lives by B. Janet Hibbs and Anthony Rostain

THE STRESSED YEARS OF THEIR LIVES by B. Janet Hibbs and Anthony Rostain is subtitled “Helping Your Kid Survive and Thrive During Their College Years.”  The authors, experts in the fields of family therapy and child psychiatry respectively, do an excellent job of outlining issues that students – and their families - may face.  This helpful book is divided into two sections: one on stress and resilience and another on crisis and recovery. 

The work is research based and includes case studies, almost 20 pages of notes, numerous internet resources and a helpful index. I particularly liked some of the summary charts (such as Seven Ways to Overhaul your Smartphone Use and Questions to ask a Therapist) which are interspersed throughout their discussion.  Another excellent chart (on page 109) lists target area components (academics, time management career planning, social settings, etc.) that address executive functioning skills. The authors include suggestions for taking practical, concrete steps to help overcome mindset barriers to success, mentioning, for example, the acronym IMPROVE (Use Imagery to visualize a safe place. Find Meaning in the situation. Use Prayer and Relaxation. Take One thing at a time. Create a Vacation spot in your imagination. Encourage yourself through positive, calming self-talk). 

Yes, the authors rely on many acronyms (e.g., SUD for Substance Use Disorder) which can make the reading more challenging, but exploring THE STRESSED YEARS OF THEIR LIVES is worth the effort with its excellent overview of the Teenage Brain, information about alcohol abuse, and entire chapters on anxiety and depression (with tips for parents and students), on crisis care and on recovery to relaunch. Our Advisor Chairs and Post High School Counselors, plus the parent community and many students will definitely be interested in this book. Kirkus notes “the sound advice” it offers and says, THE STRESSED YEARS OF THEIR LIVES “is the type of book every parent should read before discussions of college even begin.”

Under Pressure by Lisa Damour and related titles

UNDER PRESSURE by Lisa Damour is one of those books that we cannot keep on our shelves, despite owning multiple copies.  Damour, who also wrote Untangled about guiding teenage girls to adulthood, discusses “Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls” in her latest title.  She draws from her experiences as a clinical psychologist and writes in a conversational tone about the issues girls face, especially how anxiety “seems to have spun out of control.” While acknowledging that “anxious feelings are becoming more prevalent among all young people,” she cites research that indicates this is happening at a faster pace for girls.  Damour succinctly contrasts stress (“usually refers to the feeling of emotional or mental strain or tension”) and anxiety (“usually refers to the feeling of fear, dread, or panic”).  There is an entire chapter related to girls at school where she highlights the findings that “teenagers with a stress-build-strength mindset were much less upset by difficult life events … than those with a stress-does-harm mindset” and acknowledges that (1) recovery strategies are highly personal although (2) having one is vital because “intellectual growth depends on doing both hard work and replenishing one’s reserves.”

UNDER PRESSURE contains roughly twenty-five pages of note, plus recommended reading related to EACH chapter for parents and girls (the latter seems more geared to middle school or early high school readers, however).  For more examples of Damour’s thoughts, check out this profile from KQED and her recent New York Times articles:  2/12: How to Help Teens Weather Their Emotional Storms or 2/7:  Why Girls Beat Boys at School and Lose to Them at the Office  or 1/16: How to Help Tweens and Teens Manage Social Conflict

BRAVE, NOT PERFECT by Reshma Saujani is subtitled “Fear Less, Fail More, and Live Bolder.” Saujani, the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code stresses that “boys are taught to be brave, while girls are taught to be perfect” and that results in women who are afraid to fail. In this text, she shares events from her own life, like her 2010 unsuccessful run for Congress, to encourage others to take risks. Additional examples tend to be grounded in popular culture, such as one chapter which refers to Helen Mirren, Chelsea Manning and Taylor Swift. Saujani’s advice is meant to be entertaining and memorable, with sections titled “In a World Full of Princesses, Dare to be a Hot Dog” or “Strategy: Start Before You’re Ready.” However, she makes many serious points: “risky acts – like taking an unpopular stand – might be scary, but they often end up being the ones that are most appreciated and celebrated.” You can read an excerpt here.

 

Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig

NOTES ON A NERVOUS PLANET is another excellent work by Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive).  He returns to the discussion of mental health, but focuses on stepping away from technology and the frenetic pace of modern life. He says “we have to remember:

          There is no shame in not watching news.

          There is no shame in not going on Twitter.

          There is no shame in disconnecting.”

Haig offers numerous suggestions and writes in a calm, comforting voice. He parallels much of the work on stress management and technology addiction that we have been discussing (such as Twenge’s iGen). I particularly liked his poignant observations about education: “we are being taught a kind of reverse mindfulness. A kind of Future Studies where – via the guise of mathematics, or literature, or history, or computer programming, or French – we are being taught to think of a time different to the time we are in.  Exam time. Job time. When-we-are-grown-up-time.”

Noting that “it sometimes feels as if we have temporarily solved the problem of scarcity and replaced it with the problem of excess,” he also echoes comments in the recent New York Times article from Cal Newport on “Steve Jobs Never Wanted Us to Use our iPhones like This.” Throughout, Haig is courageous in confronting his (and readers’) anxiety: “Worry is a small, sweet word that sounds like you could keep an eye on it.” NOTES ON A NERVOUS PLANET is a very accessible text which asks some tough questions (“How do you stay human in a world of change?”) which Kirkus described as an “often wise and inspiring self-help title.”