Alone Time ... Take off your Shoes... Just As You Are

Well, it is summer and a chance to kick back and reflect a bit.  Here are three texts which deal with being good to yourself – and the first two offer some travel ideas as well. 

ALONE TIME by New York Times columnist Stephanie Rosenbloom is the non-fictional account of her solo travels to four cities: Paris, Istanbul, Florence and New York, one in each of the four seasons. Rosenbloom advocates for time alone and cites research that says, “even fifteen minutes spent by ourselves, without electronic devices or social interaction, can decrease the intensity of our feelings, leaving us more relaxed, less angry, and less anxious.”  Although her text is a kind of reflective travelogue, with varied focus on food, beauty, knowledge and home, she does devote about fifteen percent of the book to notes and refers to social science writing by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (Flow) or Pew Research Center, for example.  ALONE TIME is a diverting read and I would be curious to also see her thoughts about less urban destinations. Her chapter with advice about tips and tools is definitely worth a look – places to stay, games and apps, etc. are outlined – and she again promotes the ideas of trying something new and valuing unscheduled time so as to better focus on the present moment.   

TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES by Ben Feder is about “One Man’s Journey from the Boardroom to Bali and Back.” Feder is a Harvard Business School graduate and formerly CEO of Take Two Interactive (publisher of Grand Theft Auto) and this debut memoir chronicles events surrounding his decision to take a months-long sabbatical in order to foster self-improvement and rebuild family relationships. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES is another text about personal growth and living in the moment; however, it also shows how family members reconnected and even goes further to addresses environmental concerns and cultural differences. Sadly, we cannot all stop work and head to Indonesia’s Bali with “just about the friendliest people on Earth,” but do take advantage of overseas assignments if offered. In the meantime, one can learn from Feder’s observations about the value of yoga, meditation and drawing as we continue our own journeys to balance personal and professional lives.   

JUST AS YOU ARE by Michelle Skeen and Kelly Skeen is subtitled “a teen's guide to self-acceptance and lasting self-esteem.” It fits perfectly with the recent New York Times article that we have shared with many of our high school advisories (homerooms): “Why You Should Stop Being So Hard on Yourself” by Charlotte Lieberman. She suggests 3 steps to self-compassion: meditation to let negative thoughts go, consciously being kinder to oneself, and reflecting on how it feels to engage in self-criticism versus letting it go. No doubt, the Skeens would agree and they, too, offer numerous exercises (Try This! Sections) in JUST AS YOU ARE.  They, too, remind readers that “mindfulness can help you stay present with your current experience rather than reacting based on past failures.” Other main messages include "Stop comparing yourself to others--you're special just as you are!" and “You are not alone.” The mother-daughter authors offer timely, relevant examples and speak directly to teens although the tone turns a bit of a preachy at times (“when you are solid in your values, you are less likely to feel overpowered by the opinions and criticisms of others”). This publisher (New Harbinger) offers numerous titles geared for teens and members of our faculty especially liked The Grit Guide for Teens.

So … deep breaths… happy thoughts … and keep reading as you enjoy your summer!

Novels Dealing with Friendship

TIN MAN by Sarah Winman is a tender, delightful read with a memorable last sentence…. “It was a moment in time, that’s all, shared with strangers.” Set in the UK, this novel gives us the story of Ellis, Michael and Annie.  Spanning decades between post-war 1950, through the beginning of the AIDS crisis and the mid-90s, TIN MAN explores the lives of two young men who have lost their mothers, who find a special friendship and a sense of family. Sarah Winman’s writing is gentle; yet, she evokes strong emotions in this short book which deals with art/beauty and passion, with kindness and insensitivity, with love and loss. 

Another LibraryReads selection for May, TIN MAN was short-listed for the Costa Novel of the Year Award and received starred reviews from Library Journal and Publishers Weekly. 

A similar quiet and contemplative novel, EIGHT MOUNTAINS by Paolo Cognetti was published in March in the US although it has already spent more than a year on the bestseller list in Italy.  Friendship between Pietro, a young boy from Milan and Bruno, an adventuresome boy who has grown up in the mountains is at the center of this novel which also deals with relationships between the generations, particularly those between fathers and sons. I originally thought that this title might work as a selection for our Global Voices Senior English class; however, the lengthy descriptive passages and relatively sparse dialogue likely would be less appealing for those students. The publisher recommends EIGHT MOUNTAINS for fans of Elena Ferrante and Paulo Coelho and it is indeed filled with nature and a beautiful book, particularly for those who know and love the Alps.

THE ENSEMBLE by Aja Gabel is also about friendship although this quartet is especially bound by their love of music and care for one another. Gabel herself is a former cellist and expertly captures the concerns and uncertainty as these string musicians try to establish their careers. The novel begins in San Francisco in 1994 as Jana, who plays first violin, starts to form the group with Henry, an immensely gifted viola player. Brit, an orphan, plays second violin and has a secret relationship with Daniel who is an older cello player and conflicted about choosing music given the poverty he faced as a child. Each shares a part of his or her life and the dueling egos, maturing talent and competitive disappointments experienced over the next 18 years.

Like its beautiful and eye-catching cover, THE ENSEMBLE is a performance to savor, appealing especially to aspiring musicians. This debut work received starred reviews from Booklist, Library Journal and Publishers Weekly and was another LibraryReads selection for May.