THE WAR FOR KINDNESS is written by Jamil Zaki, a professor of
psychology at Stanford University and the director of the Stanford Social
Neuroscience Lab. He explores “building empathy in a fractured world,” as
also described in
his interview with
The Washington Post.
In
THE
WAR FOR KINDNESS Zaki begins by discussing his own parents’ divorce and
says, “that two people’s experiences could differ so drastically, yet both be
true and deep, is maybe the most important lesson I’ve ever learned.” He then
describes the different ways we respond with empathy, given that the “diameter
of our concern … [now] encompasses the planet.” I was struck by his comments about the
recent shift to a majority of people living in cities and in shrinking
households so that “we see more people than ever before, but know fewer of
them.” Employing a conversational tone and using many examples (ranging from
convicts participating in
a program
called Changing Lives Through Literature to hospital employees avoiding burnout),
Zaki continues with some of his subsequent chapters discussing The Stories We
Tell, Caring Too Much and The Future of Empathy. There is an extensive website
which accompanies
THE WAR FOR KINDNESS.
Videos
there address
five challenges: reverse the golden rule; spend kindly; disagree
better; employ kind tech; and be a culture builder.
Just under a third of the text is devoted to appendices,
notes and index.
It is worth mentioning
that one appendix deals with “Evaluating the Evidence” and includes a summary
of each of the over four dozen claims made in the book, plus a rating on the
claim’s strength and (for those with weaker ratings) a brief description of
that reasoning. I found this section
-
also available online
- to be an extremely helpful summary; our Psych teachers and students will no
doubt find it fascinating and inspirational to their research. In fact, I would
suggest considering this title as a One School/One Book selection at the high
school or college level with the option of including lesson plans like the
related one posted by The
New York Times
or from
Teaching Tolerance.
THE WAR FOR KINDNESS is excerpted
in
NPR’s recent review which praises Zaki’s compilation of research, and concludes: “To
build empathy, one must have courage, engage in self-reflection, and harness
the will to venture beyond isolation to the great unknown that is others.”
Huge, but worthwhile tasks for adolescents and the rest of us.