Ben has become so entwined in the problems and death of his
friend Jimmy, that for Ben to share any of his story - to say anything – even to
his father, the deputy chief of police, would only make him look guilty, which,
in his small town, could easily translate into being accused of killing
Jimmy. Or, as Ben states himself, doing so would "be like Jesus all over again. They'd crucify me" (228). The only way he thinks he can
help his friend, and himself, is to find the real assailants. This entire event gnaws at his subconscious, and in order to ease his own fears, he realizes he must confess his own secrets, finally - to accept what happened, his role in it, and who he has become.
Bick had me
engaged from the beginning as Ben, the protagonist, speaks to the reader
through his writing. He explains why he is writing, but does not identify to
whom until the very end. His sentences
flow together, and move the story quickly( as Ben even states, “it’s time I got
all this down and as fast as I can…”), as very well could be the case of a male
young adult who needs to feel relief from the trauma, guilt, and paranoia he’s
carried for three years.
Ben writes this
story while in the military and stationed in Afghanistan as a medic. However, he
doesn’t explain why he’s in the military until the last section of the book,
and, until then, there’s a sense of hope that he’ll go to Yale. Because his story is so complex, it’s easy to
forget everything he shares by way of his introduction.
Her use of
alliteration, vivid and distinct adjectives, choice vocabulary, and
thought-provoking ideas makes this novel one that I will recommend. It’s definitely a great option for guys in
high school and older. It’s gritty, a
bit gruesome, realistic, and deals with sexuality in a subtle way that keeps it
in the foreground and provides “food for thought” for the reader, yet does not
overshadow Ben and his increasing complex web of fear.
