Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni

Students at New Trier have been reading a recent op-ed piece by New York Times columnist Frank Bruni called "How to Survive the College Admissions Madness." He begins with a story about Peter Hart, a New Trier grad, and that same story which involves resilience in the face of rejection appears in Bruni's recently published book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania. It's a highly readable, thought-provoking book with chapters titled "Throwing Darts," "Beyond the Comfort Zone," and "Strangled with Ivy." 

Bruni directly addresses high school students, stating “You’re going to get into a college that’s more than able to provide a superb education to anyone who insists on one and who takes firm charge of his or her time there.  But your chances of getting into the school of your dreams are slim.”  He is even more brutally honest in his comments to parents: “if you’re a parent who’s pushing your kids relentlessly and narrowly toward one of the most prized schools in the country and think that you’re doing them a favor, you’re not. You’re in all probability setting them up for heartbreak, and you’re imparting a questionable set of values.”

We have ordered multiple copies and anticipate a great deal of interest and high demand for this book which profiles many successful business and political leaders, noting that their undergraduate schools do not seem to fit a particular pattern. Bruni also reviews acceptance rate changes over time, quotes from numerous interviews and shares outcome from relevant studies.  

In his excellent review (“Gilding the Sheepskin”) of Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, Daniel Askt of The Wall Street Journal says that Bruni’s work is a “useful book that misses a larger opportunity to explore what the college admissions process says about America today.”  I agree and I hope that Bruni, who is a very entertaining writer, expands upon his research. He may need to move out of his own comfort zone, however.  If you are curious, look at another new book that does talk about opportunity, social class, and inequality: Robert Putnam’s Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis which I have reviewed elsewhere.  

By the way, Bruni’s op-ed piece mentioned above concludes by quoting a letter that parents wrote to their son, “your worth as a person, a student, and our son is not diminished or influenced in the least by what these colleges have decided.” At New Trier, we talk about the match to be made, not a prize to be won – all thoughts to share as our students face a different type of March madness.

NEW 3/30:  Frank Bruni will speak on Thursday, April 9 at 7pm at New Trier High School -- Northfield Campus, Cornog Auditorium.  This program is sponsored by FAN (Family Action Network) and promoted by The Bookstall which says, "[Bruni] speaks about his new book giving students and their parents a new perspective on the college admissions process and a path out of the anxiety it can provoke. Students and parents are encouraged to attend."